It’s been a caregiver burnout weekend for sure. Nana has been driving me so mad lately. My mother reminded me that just the other day I had such a good day with my grandmother. I cannot remember this at all it’s been so bad with her recently.
I had to escape twice this weekend. I left the house on Sunday after a failed attempt at spending time with her. She just gets so difficult. Upsetting to be around. I left her, the laundry, and meal making in my mother’s care and I walked. I walked away and through the park and shopped and ate. I found some really nice things and had my favorite pizza (thin sliced bacon, ricotta, and whole garlic). The hostess who sat me and served me was so kind and thoughtful I really want to go back and thank her properly. It was almost enough to restore me.
Today’s escape included taking my grandfather on a walk to a neighborhood wine bar and treating him to a drink in the early afternoon. The amount of blocks may have been tough on him but he needs the exercise and it was good to get out of the house. We need a break from the relentless demands caregiving requires.
It’s a constant struggle to balance my life with hers. Things I want (to sleep in, to go out during the day, to relax) are in direct conflict with her needs and are often put to the wayside. Still, this weekend I tried to reclaim my time and my peace to varying degrees of success.
Tonight I ate my mother’s brisket and even constructed brisket bruschetta, if that’s even a thing. Having someone else cook for me is such a treat. And it was so good!
This team is good and strong against an impossible battle. We can hold each other up as we need and hope though we may need breaks, we don’t ever fall.
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