I’m at like an 8 or 9 as I write this.
In DBT, there’s a scale. 3-5 is where you can do Emotional Regulation. 7-10 is where you’re in crisis and you need to use the tools of the tenant Distress Tolerance.
For the past two nights, my anxiety has been skyrocketing. This week I have not slept well. It’s been so off that now my body is off.
I also go off Latuda today. I’m unclear if this is causing the sleep deprivation but it’s likely. When I went off seroquel, I couldn’t sleep for a week. I hope this time it’s less.
I’ve meditated, done deep breathing, ate yummy food, contributed to group chats, checked in with loved ones, watched comfort shows and films. Distractions and mindfulness. And it helps. Brings that 8-9 down to maybe a 6-7.
And that’s the point. We can’t avoid distress. But we can learn to tolerate it. I use the affirmation “It’s okay. I’m okay.” I feel like I need a better one, but it gets me through the moment. And if we can get to the next moment, that’s the thing. The next moment has the possibility to be better. We just need to get there.
My body may be breaking down as it learns to adjust to new conditions, but my mental state does not need to dwindle because of it. Because this breakdown won’t last forever. I will heal. All of me.
I need support. I often do, but rarely get it exactly as I seek it. But I’m finally looking in healthy places. I’m learning to process difficult situations and communicate effectively. Things are still hard, but I am able to cope.
I can handle my mental health. It’s not handling me.
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