I just went on a Bumble BFF date. That’s where you’re trying to find friends. It went really well. We have a lot in common, we laughed a lot, and the proximity is unmatched. Still I hope this turns into something. It usually doesn’t.
I’ve been looking for a best friend since 2011. My last best friend moved on before I even left and I had no prospects in sight. So in addition to using the apps for romantic dates, I’ve been looking for friends.
I went on a BFF date last weekend and it felt really great. She reminded me of a friend I really value. She said to contact her about my musical. She seemed genuinely interested. But when I messaged her after the date, nothing. I can’t help but wonder why talk about furthering the relationship when you’re not interested.
This has happened with romantic matches too and it’s always the same. A great date, everyone’s laughing and smiling, common interests are shared, we agree to communicate after the date, I do and then silence.
I think I’m supposed to not take it personally that these people are obviously “not that into” me, but why the hell can’t I be mad? I thought there was something when there was nothing. I can’t be frustrated by the lie?
I have great friends that I love but we’re scattered across the globe. We don’t talk or hang regularly. Very few people check in on me. I need something here and now and consistent. I think I deserve that. I think one day I’ll get that but for now I’m alone. I don’t mean to say that for pity. It’s just the way it is.
Making friends as an adult is hard. I’ve been told that people make best friends in childhood and if you don’t keep up with that childhood friend, you’re shit out of luck. But I refuse to believe that’s true. Our society’s bizarre priority with finding a mate for the nuclear family over all other relationships is not the only path in life. No offense intended to those who are living that life but I believe no one way of life should be valued more than another. All our journeys are worthy. We are more than our relationships but wanting people in our lives doesn’t make us weak or small. People deserve love. I deserve the love I want. No matter what I’ve been told.
Anyone hope this match works out. I’m cautiously optimistic.
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